when I started this blog five years ago, I was a pet sitter and the name animal-crackers made sense. now I'm a stay-at-home-dad and freelance writer, but rather than confuse everyone by getting a different blog, it's just easier to keep posting things here.

Maybe the Justice Department should google "1984".

Our dear friends in the Ministry of It's-Not-Torture-Unless-It-Leaves-A-Mark want to see what you've been googling. Trying to salvage an un-Constitutional anti-porn law, DOJ has subpoenaed information from Google, Yahoo and MSN about who is searching for what.

Specifically, DOJ wants a list of general search terms from one day. WTF?

Yahoo and MSN have complied, but really who cares. When's the last time anyone has used these sites?

This information isn't to bolster a specific case. DOJ is casting a net for a billion fish and hoping one fish involves kiddy porn. Of course, the Republican counter argument is: If you've done nothing wrong you have nothing to fear.

Yes, I have nothing to fear from a tyrannical despot who illegally taps phones, tortures people, instigates internationally condemned wars, promotes homophobic hysteria, opposes sound science and has a staff of criminals and imbeciles. (Did I miss anything?)

So this is what I propose: When the government wins, and it will win because it's the government, everyone needs to get bat-shit crazy with the google.

Here is a list of recommended search terms:

1) How to make an atomic bomb
2) Tom DeLay likes kiddy porn
3) George Bush Bin Laden XXX
4) Dick Cheney smokes crack
6) Karl Rove bestiality
7) Donald Rumsfeld satan