when I started this blog five years ago, I was a pet sitter and the name animal-crackers made sense. now I'm a stay-at-home-dad and freelance writer, but rather than confuse everyone by getting a different blog, it's just easier to keep posting things here.
Monday, July 25, 2005
Sister Circus
1990: I graduate from high school and attend Penn State. My father's company goes into Chapter 11 bankruptcy -- that's the restructuring kind.
1991: My 17-year-old sister, Suzie-Q, moves to Florida to live with our aunt and uncle for a year.
1992: PaxarFuck Inc. buys my father's company and closes its two plants in Troy. My dad is transfered to Waynesville, N.C.; my uncle is transfered to Hickory, N.C.; my aunt, step-grandmother, some cousins and 100 other people are fired.
Also 1992: Suzie-Q wears out her welcome in Florida and moves to Waynesville to finish high school.
1993: Suzie-Q graduates from high school. A month later, PaxarFuck Inc. fires our dad. He finds a third-shift supervisor job in Greensboro, N.C.; Suzie-Q attends Western Carolina U.
1994: Suzie-Q drops out of college and I graduate. We both move in with our parents. So now the four of us are sharing a three-bedroom apartment.
December 1994: After eight months of shitty jobs I'm hired by The Daily News of Eden, N.C. It's about 40 minutes away from my parents' apartment.
January 1995: Suzie-Q moves in with me. She has a factory job that involves molten metal. She comes home most every night with burns on her hands.
April 1995: The Franzen Brothers Circus arrives in Eden. I write a story about how the circus pays $50 per day for temporary workers. Suzie-Q takes off a couple of days to work for the Franzens.
The circus has one elephant, two camels, two or three tigers, a dozen horses and about 20 employees. It's even dumpier than you can imagine.
As the circus is packing up, the owner asks Suzie-Q if she'd like a full-time job. Suzie-Q LOVES animals. She has worked with horses since she was 6-years-old. She quits her factory job and the next day I drive her to Roanoke, Va., to meet up with the circus.
Our parents are NOT pleased. A month later they buy a house in nearby Winston-Salem.
August 1995: I move to New Bern, N.C. and meet Andree.
September 1995: Andree and I start dating. (She just doesn't know we're dating.)
December 1995: Suzie-Q, now 21, returns to visit while the circus is on break. She brings home her 44-year-old boyfriend, the Snake Handler. (Holy crap, I never thought of this until now. But if you do the math, Suzie-Q may have conceived in our parents' house. Ewww.)
August 1996: I ask Andree to marry me. My attempt to seem spontaneous results in the world's most pathetic marriage proposal. Despite this, she says yes.
September 1996: I'm at Andree's apartment when my mother calls.
"I have two pieces of news," she says. The first is my older brother, a 10-year Army veteran, is being sent to Kuwait for a year. Since he was supposed to be my Best Man, this sucks on many levels.
"And there's something else," she adds. "Your sister called. She's in Pennsylvania now and she just had a baby."
Whaaaaaa?
Yes, Suzie-Q and the Snake Handler had spawned. They were working a gig in Scranton, Pa. when my sister became ill. They thought it was food poisoning and rushed her to the hospital to run some tests.
After several hours of tests, the doctor sat down with Suzie-Q and asked her: "Do you think you might be pregnant?"
"Pregnant? No, of course not."
"No," he repeated. "Do you THINK you might be pregnant?"
Holy shit. Suzie-Q went through nine months of pregnancy without knowing it. (That's her story. She's a big girl and highly irregular. So it is not outside the realm of possibility.)
A few hours later she gives birth to a healthy girl. That week, my mother's parents drive two hours to pick them up and take them home. Then my parents drive to Pennsylvania and take them back to Winston-Salem.
The Snake Handler moves to Winston-Salem for about three months and tries to be a father. But he quits and returns to the circus.
February 1997: After years of cancer, my mom's mother goes into the hospital. My brother flies in from Kuwait; I fly in from New Bern. For a week, the family's all together. I return to North Carolina and a few days later, Grandma dies.
May 1997: Andree and I are married.
Also 1997: Suzie-Q's former boss, the owner of Franzen Brothers Circus, is mauled to death by one of his tigers.
* * *
Except for a few brief episodes, Suzie-Q and her daughter have lived with our parents ever since. My niece is a troublemaker. But she's also beautiful, smart and healthy.
She'll be 9 in September.
1991: My 17-year-old sister, Suzie-Q, moves to Florida to live with our aunt and uncle for a year.
1992: PaxarFuck Inc. buys my father's company and closes its two plants in Troy. My dad is transfered to Waynesville, N.C.; my uncle is transfered to Hickory, N.C.; my aunt, step-grandmother, some cousins and 100 other people are fired.
Also 1992: Suzie-Q wears out her welcome in Florida and moves to Waynesville to finish high school.
1993: Suzie-Q graduates from high school. A month later, PaxarFuck Inc. fires our dad. He finds a third-shift supervisor job in Greensboro, N.C.; Suzie-Q attends Western Carolina U.
1994: Suzie-Q drops out of college and I graduate. We both move in with our parents. So now the four of us are sharing a three-bedroom apartment.
December 1994: After eight months of shitty jobs I'm hired by The Daily News of Eden, N.C. It's about 40 minutes away from my parents' apartment.
January 1995: Suzie-Q moves in with me. She has a factory job that involves molten metal. She comes home most every night with burns on her hands.
April 1995: The Franzen Brothers Circus arrives in Eden. I write a story about how the circus pays $50 per day for temporary workers. Suzie-Q takes off a couple of days to work for the Franzens.
The circus has one elephant, two camels, two or three tigers, a dozen horses and about 20 employees. It's even dumpier than you can imagine.
As the circus is packing up, the owner asks Suzie-Q if she'd like a full-time job. Suzie-Q LOVES animals. She has worked with horses since she was 6-years-old. She quits her factory job and the next day I drive her to Roanoke, Va., to meet up with the circus.
Our parents are NOT pleased. A month later they buy a house in nearby Winston-Salem.
August 1995: I move to New Bern, N.C. and meet Andree.
September 1995: Andree and I start dating. (She just doesn't know we're dating.)
December 1995: Suzie-Q, now 21, returns to visit while the circus is on break. She brings home her 44-year-old boyfriend, the Snake Handler. (Holy crap, I never thought of this until now. But if you do the math, Suzie-Q may have conceived in our parents' house. Ewww.)
August 1996: I ask Andree to marry me. My attempt to seem spontaneous results in the world's most pathetic marriage proposal. Despite this, she says yes.
September 1996: I'm at Andree's apartment when my mother calls.
"I have two pieces of news," she says. The first is my older brother, a 10-year Army veteran, is being sent to Kuwait for a year. Since he was supposed to be my Best Man, this sucks on many levels.
"And there's something else," she adds. "Your sister called. She's in Pennsylvania now and she just had a baby."
Whaaaaaa?
Yes, Suzie-Q and the Snake Handler had spawned. They were working a gig in Scranton, Pa. when my sister became ill. They thought it was food poisoning and rushed her to the hospital to run some tests.
After several hours of tests, the doctor sat down with Suzie-Q and asked her: "Do you think you might be pregnant?"
"Pregnant? No, of course not."
"No," he repeated. "Do you THINK you might be pregnant?"
Holy shit. Suzie-Q went through nine months of pregnancy without knowing it. (That's her story. She's a big girl and highly irregular. So it is not outside the realm of possibility.)
A few hours later she gives birth to a healthy girl. That week, my mother's parents drive two hours to pick them up and take them home. Then my parents drive to Pennsylvania and take them back to Winston-Salem.
The Snake Handler moves to Winston-Salem for about three months and tries to be a father. But he quits and returns to the circus.
February 1997: After years of cancer, my mom's mother goes into the hospital. My brother flies in from Kuwait; I fly in from New Bern. For a week, the family's all together. I return to North Carolina and a few days later, Grandma dies.
May 1997: Andree and I are married.
Also 1997: Suzie-Q's former boss, the owner of Franzen Brothers Circus, is mauled to death by one of his tigers.
Except for a few brief episodes, Suzie-Q and her daughter have lived with our parents ever since. My niece is a troublemaker. But she's also beautiful, smart and healthy.
She'll be 9 in September.
5 Comments:
My god - your life is a John Irving book. Please please please write some diaryist style stories and submit them to magazines. Don't post them here - we're not worthy - they deserve payment.
You asked Andree to marry you after dating 12 months (or was it 9 months with 3 months stalking?). That's so cool.
Isn't it the best story EVER? I am so jealous I can't claim it for myself.
One day Todd will have to tell the story of our engagement. It sucks. Lamest. Ever. But it was my own fault.
Andree
holy. crap.
The next time my mom mentions her lack of grandchildren, I might have to relay parts of that story.
The worst part of that was when I was like "oh god she could have been doing drugs or drinking or smoking during the pregnacy. THats scary.
Um but yeah really -
that little girl has a SNAKE handler for a father and her parents met while working for a circus.
How friggin cool is that/
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