when I started this blog five years ago, I was a pet sitter and the name animal-crackers made sense. now I'm a stay-at-home-dad and freelance writer, but rather than confuse everyone by getting a different blog, it's just easier to keep posting things here.


Monday, July 02, 2007

holy freaking cow

He actually did it. Bush actually commuted Scooter's sentence.

I bet that jury feels stupid now!

Seriously though, lying to federal prosecutors and grand juries is such a non-crime. I mean, everyone does it. Are they going to throw everyone who lies under oath in jail?

The prisons would be overwhelmed with liars, whose pants of course would be on fires.

I remember the first time I lied to federal prosecutors. It was a sunny day in March and I had just finished selling half a kilo of black tar heroin to Dick Cheney. Damn he was mad for that shit. Dick would grunt like a pig and rub his eyes a lot when he was crashing. It was kind of funny, actually.

But I digress. And now I forgot my point.

What I'm trying to say is the White House is inundated with murders, rapists and pedophiles. Prosecuting perjurers is frivolous. It's a waste of taxpayers' money. (Unlike Dick Cheney's crack habit, which keeps him surprisingly mellow.)

Liars of the world unite!
posted by todd at 6:41 PM

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