when I started this blog five years ago, I was a pet sitter and the name animal-crackers made sense. now I'm a stay-at-home-dad and freelance writer, but rather than confuse everyone by getting a different blog, it's just easier to keep posting things here.
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Dear Tommy
Oh Tommy boy. What've you done this time?
According to a recent USA/Gallup poll, Tom Cruise's popularity has taken a beaten. About 51 percent of America think he's retarded. Only 35 percent think not.
Tommy, maybe it's time to call someone special, someone who can expand your horizons and massage your thetan.
It's time to call George B.
True, he is the only person in America who is less popular than you. But you two might have a lot in common. For instance, you both like to pretend your spies. And you both like to kill bunnies and sleep with 10-year-old boys from Thailand.
In fact, you two should run together in 2008. You'd have to headline, of course, since he's maxed out his Chucky Cheese points.
Yes, vote Cruise-Bush -- because even unpopular, heroin-smoking half-wits need a job.
According to a recent USA/Gallup poll, Tom Cruise's popularity has taken a beaten. About 51 percent of America think he's retarded. Only 35 percent think not.
Tommy, maybe it's time to call someone special, someone who can expand your horizons and massage your thetan.
It's time to call George B.
True, he is the only person in America who is less popular than you. But you two might have a lot in common. For instance, you both like to pretend your spies. And you both like to kill bunnies and sleep with 10-year-old boys from Thailand.
In fact, you two should run together in 2008. You'd have to headline, of course, since he's maxed out his Chucky Cheese points.
Yes, vote Cruise-Bush -- because even unpopular, heroin-smoking half-wits need a job.
1 Comments:
I'd vote for a Bush/Cruise ticket because it sounds like a 70's porny flick.
Post a Comment
<< Home